Tradition Three: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior

1. Read the section on Tradition Three in Sex Addicts Anonymous pages. 81,82.
What are my first reactions to the words of this tradition and what I read?

2. Read the paragraph starting with “The disease of sex addiction”.
  1. What does this paragraph say about sex addiction discriminating?
  2. What do all of us have the right to?
  3. What does the Third Tradition protect us from?

  1. What does it mean to me that “All of us have the right to seek recovery in Sex Addicts Anonymous”?
  2. Have I wanted to keep someone else out of the program or my group?
  3. What does this tradition say about that desire?
  4. How can I let a higher power decide who attends a meeting?
  5. What happens when someone “unwanted” shows up at the door of my meeting asking for help?

3. Read the paragraph starting with “No one can judge”.
  1. What can no one else judge?
  2. Why can’t someone else determine if I have the desire to stop?
  3. What may our motives for attending seem?

  1. What does it mean for me to be “guaranteed a place in the fellowship with no strings attached”?
  2. After that first frantic attempt to get to a meeting, how has my desire for freedom from this addiction both weakened and grown stronger?
  3. And how does the change in my desire give me compassion for others’ weaknesses?
  4. What does this paragraph imply about our wanting to judge other’s fitness for this program?

4. Read the paragraph starting with “We can rest assured”.
  1. What can we rest assured of?
  2. What are we reminded not to focus on?
  3. Where can we look to find out if the help SAA offers is for us?

  1. What is my experience of trying to make my acting out very different from the rest of the group?
  2. Have I experienced or seen someone else’s acting out minimized by others?
  3. If this is the only requirement, what does that imply to my group for dealing with those who simply want to “manage” their addiction or want to use the group as a social gathering or to show someone else that they are ok (but not stop)?
  4. What does it mean for my recovery that SAA has only this one requirement?

5. Read the paragraph starting with “This tradition opens the door”.
  1. Why do we open the door to all seeking help?
  2. How is the SAA program offered?
  3. What fees are required?
  4. What freedom is offered?
  5. What does this freedom from judgement, restriction, and control offer us?
  6. What rules and structures can groups have?

  1. What does it mean for my group to “open the door to all sex addicts seeking help”?
  2. Has my group ever turned away someone (woman, atheist, gay, homeless) who is seeking recovery from sex addiction?
  3. Does my group reach out to populations other than those currently showing up?
  4. Are there other populations that we can reach out to?
  5. How can we live this tradition more fully?

  1. Does my meeting have structure and rules of behavior?
  2. Are there any rules that would allow my group to be more welcoming and yet, keep the place safe for all addicts?
  3. How can we use the group conscience to curb disruptive behavior?
  4. How can the Safe and Sober meetings pamphlet help the meeting be more welcoming?

  1. In order to face the fears of disruptive people or of those who would distort the meetings, what suggested boundaries would help me?
  2. How can I ask more experienced members for suggestions?
  3. How can my accepting of disruptive people help my spirituality?
  4. How can I turn the way the meeting operates over to a higher power?

6. Read the paragraph starting with “As a fellowship”.
  1. What is the fellowship open to?
  2. Do groups have the right to gear their meetings towards certain people?
  3. What are those meetings meant to allow?
  4. What does our experience suggest?

  1. Does my group have a special focus?
  2. If so, what provisions are there to handle the sex addict at the door of the meeting who does not meet that focus?
  3. How can we relax the focus one time to offer hope to that addict?
  4. If I mostly go to a special meeting, how can I attend other meetings so as to gain from the strength of those who have different experiences?

  5. If I feel the need for a special meeting, how can I ask the group for help with that feeling?

  1. The fellowship has many different meeting formats which are available both in person and via the multiple “tele-meetings”.
  2. If I have felt that I am not getting the recovery I need at one meeting, what can I do to seek out other meetings and other meeting formats so as to get recovery?
  3. What are my spiritual needs for other meeting types?
  4. What does our experience as a fellowship suggest?

7. Read the paragraph starting with “The Third Tradition is based on trust”.
  1. What happens when we live in the spirit of this tradition?
  2. What are we challenged to do?
  3. What does the Third Tradition’s clarity and simplicity reflect?
  4. Who is welcomed?
  5. What does this welcome inspire us to do?

  1. How can we live a recovery program based on trust in a higher power rather than fear?
  2. How can we “open our hearts and meetings to those different from us and seek ways to show the compassion and hope that have been given us”?
  3. What can I do to extend the message of hope I received beyond the groups and places where I am comfortable?

  1. What implications does this Tradition have for my spirituality?
  2. How can I use this tradition in my community or in work?
  3. What implications would this Tradition have on my family both in letting people leave the Family and in accepting people into the family?