Step 1-3 worksheet

We admitted that we were powerless over our addictive sexual behavior and that our lives were unmanageable.

Unmanageable: "In a written First Step we also list the ways that sex addiction made our lives unmanageable. If we spent money on our addiction, we try to estimate how much money we spent. If we spent time, we can consider how many hours we spent, including the time we spent in fantasy or obsession. If we took the risk of arrest, violence, or disease, we can examine each specific risk we took. We also write about the specific ways our behaviors affected our physical and mental health, our work, the lives of those we love, and any other consequences, internal or external, that we experienced." "All these consequences add up to an unmanageable life." - Sex Addicts Anonymous.

Part of recovery is grieving what the addiction cost me. Detail what the addiction cost me in each area - that I value

.. Family


Jobs / Career


Morale / Honesty / Integrity / Conscience / Values

Spiritual Costs & Loss of connection to a higher power

Marriage Vows & Understanding of what Marriage means

Isolation and Disconnect from Others


"If we took the risk of arrest, violence, or disease, we can examine each specific risk we took." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 23
Acknowledging the risks I took

What would I risk the next time I act out?

.. Life / Health

Liberty / prison


Risks to my family and relationships

Other Risks

One of the key parts of unmanageability is the interaction between our addiction and Shame. Shame keeps us stuck in our addiction and is the reason why we cannot recover on our own. Shame keeps us from taking the right actions and suggests harmful actions and secrecy instead.

To recover, we speak the shame to safe people. "we select the most significant examples of our powerlessness, and the worst moments of unmanageability, no matter how much shame we feel about them." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 24

What is the part of my addiction that I have the most shame about?