Step 8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
"With the Eighth Step, we begin to take responsibility for the harm we have inflicted
on others when we acted on our character defects. Most of us know that we
caused harm in one way or another, but in the past we chose to feel guilty
without doing anything about it." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 45
How have I avoided responsibility for the harm I caused?
"We start by writing a list of all the persons we have harmed." Sex Addicts
Anonymous pg 46
"Many of us were surprised when it was suggested that we put our own name on our amends list." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 47
Start simply with listing the people.
People that I have harmed:
(Use extra paper if needed.)
"The harm we have done to others can take many forms." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 46 (and the book goes into a discussion of what types of harm we may have done so that we can bring to mind all the harm.)
For each person on my list, add how I have harmed them. For myself, note how I have directly harmed myself, neglected my needs, took risks, violated my values, etc.
"At this point, we only need to be honest with ourselves about the harm we have done. We stay focused on this work, letting go of any worries we may have about the future." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 47
It is common to want to focus on the amends. How much am I
wanting to look at the future instead of doing this work? What is
driving me to look that way instead of on this step?
"Our Higher Power is with us throughout this process." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 47 "When we have completed our list, most of us ask our sponsor to go over it with us and provide feedback." Sex Addicts Anonymous pg 47
How am I finding my group, my sponsor, and my Higher Power helpful in working this